Q: Hello, Kiana! Can you give us a little introduction of who you are and what kinds of moves you've made over the last several years?
A: My name is Kiana Holley! I have been married to my husband, Paul, for almost 9 years. We have an almost 3-year-old daughter, Olivia, and another little girl due this summer! I was born in Honolulu , Hawaii, and lived there for about 10 years. I also called Mississippi home for 5 years, Southern California was home for 2 years, Georgia was home for 8 years, and Texas was home for 3.5 years and is now home again for us! My husband was just selected to be a Chick-fil-A Operator in Laredo, Texas and we are so excited to settle down and plant roots in our new community!
I love being able to have experiences with my family. A perfect day for me would include an experience or activity to do with my family. We enjoy going to the beach, going on a hike, trying a new restaurant or seeing new sites!
Q: What was it like moving from Hawaii to California as a teenager?
A: When I was 14 my family moved from Hawaii to Southern California. It was a shock at first. Hawaii was my home and where my family and friends lived - it was familiar and safe.
My aunt told me that if I wanted to come back to Hawaii for college that I’d have a place to stay with her! I didn’t see this as a hinderance or something to keep me focused on moving backwards. It was a reminder that even when we take big risks it helps when you know you have support to fall back on if and when you need it! After a few weeks of getting used to the idea of moving, I realized this move could be an adventure!
When we got to California there were some adjustments. The pace of life was faster and there were bigger buildings, more people, and so much traffic! I was homeschooled with two of my siblings when we moved to California, which made having to get used to a new school a non-issue. But being homeschooled made making new friends and finding a community difficult.
We were incredibly blessed to find that our new church had several homeschooled families with kids near our age. During the two years that we lived in California, we developed strong friendships and a tight knit community. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed with finding something familiar in a new space. I try looking for the things I have in common with those around me and use that as a starting point to develop friendships.
Q: Tell us about your (many!) moves with Chick-fil-A:
A: Paul and I have moved 21 times over the past 6 years. Ten days after Paul and I got married we moved to Laredo, Texas, for an opportunity to pursue a career with Chick-fil-A. Three and half years later, Paul was accepted into the Chick-fil-A Leadership Development Program, which is a two year, full-time traveling commitment.
He went all over the country to assist operators with the opening of their restaurant. He also operated corporate owned restaurants while new operators were being selected. Our assignments usually lasted 6-8 weeks in lengths with the shortest one being 10 days and our longest one being 9 months. When we finished with that job (three years later) we moved back to Georgia to be closer to family. And then we moved to Corpus Christi, Texas this year, and in a few months we will move to Laredo, Texas.
We had our daughter 22 months into our 36 months of traveling! She lived in a hotel for the first year of her life and flew on an airplane 15 times in the first year as well. She doesn’t remember any of it but it’s fun to look back at pictures and see all the experiences she has had with us.
Q: After all of the moves you made with Chick-fil-A, what did you learn about friendships and kindness to those around you? It had to be challenging at times to continually meet new people and then say goodbye. Could you tell us more about that?
A: As we traveled to each assignment, we were usually paired with 1-2 other people with the same role as Paul. Paul’s colleagues were either single, married, or married with children. Each assignment provided a different combination of people with different experiences, interests, and needs. At first I found it hard to decide where I should look for connection and community. I felt overwhelmed looking for volunteer opportunities at schools, churches, community projects, etc. I think I was trying to find the opportunity with the biggest impact, the most meaning or what I thought would be the most valuable.
Then I realized that God was providing a unique circle for me to engage with and connect with. My circle was a small group of people we traveled with and worked alongside at each assignment. These were the people we saw each morning at breakfast before our spouses left for work. The ones we sat next to in the hotel laundry room as we waited for our laundry to finish. Because of our close proximity and the uniqueness of our lives, I found my community in these wonderful people. We would have “breakfast club” in the mornings and eat together. My husband and I would host “family dinners” in our hotel room and invite everyone to join us. Or weekly game nights to play card or board games together. There were times that we even took road trips with other families!
Q: Sometimes it feels like the older we get the harder it can be to make new friends in a meaningful way. What tips do you have for those who have a hard time connecting with new people?
A: It is so hard to put yourself out there and share your life with strangers. It’s even harder when you have to keep doing it over and over again! As we get older, we have more experiences, both good and bad. Sometimes those experiences can keep us from stepping out and putting ourselves into uncomfortable and unfamiliar spaces. My advice is to start in the circle closest to you. Maybe it’s the gal working across the hall from you, your next door neighbor, or the lady you stand next to in your exercise class. Ask questions that require a deeper answer than “yes” or “no." It also helps to know what is important to you and what you enjoy doing. If cooking is what fulfills you, find a class or schedule time to cook with a friend. If exploring new areas interests you, plan a hiking trip with friends. When you have common interests or are pursing the same goals, doing them alongside someone who is likeminded helps!
Remember, things can be challenging. Use every resource you can. Find Facebook groups and if you can’t find one, start one! Connect with old friends through email and zoom. Look for opportunities in your church, your kid’s school and local government. And most importantly, don’t give up!
- Jul 1, 2021
It was 2015 and I was feelin’...at home. The rhythms and waves of Guam suited me, they had become a part of me. From beachy hair and kisses on the cheek, to celebrating at fiestas and sheltering during storms with precious friends, it was like no other place I'd ever lived. And yet, as with other places I've lived, this feeling of comfort and confidence came right before we were to transition again.
A few months later we moved to South Carolina, and I watched my husband struggle with culture shock as I tried to encourage him but eventually just sat back and thought, “Yup." He'd lived on the island twelve years; this transition was somewhat akin to hurdling in track and field. Jumping over one barrier after another, wondering if you will ever find your stride--some moves are straight up hard.
What about you? Have you ever felt out of place where you live?
Sometimes a place doesn’t even have to be new to feel uncertain to us—foreign, with the power to disembody, to make you question who you are outside of the places where you once felt more yourself, and therefore more at home.
One day I’ll show you pictures of wide-eyed 2011 me, teaching students from cultures I didn’t know, picking up random illnesses, struggling with disordered eating, and wondering what the heck I’d gotten myself into. And yet, I knew that this amazingly diverse, welcoming, and *hot* island was where I was meant to be.
I learned it was a precious place whether or not I had ever met its shores. It was a place of awakening, growing into adulthood, and eventually meeting the one whom my soul loves.
But there was flailing— there was proverbial arm flapping of the most unflattering kind and lots of complaining and messing up but trying to do better next time. There was a lot of me trying to stay afloat, learning to swim, learning to love it, that beautiful, tiny island.
And you know what? I did.
Wendell Berry wrote, “Nobody can discover the world for somebody else. Only when we discover it for ourselves does it become common ground and a common bond and we cease to be alone.”
The more I respected Guam—its heritage, its people, and even its frustration toward haoles like me, the more I made friends who felt like family, and that blast of humidity meeting me at the airport exit doors? It felt like home.
I taught my students and they taught me. I picked out paint (some for our studio, some to cover graffiti at the bus stops in our village), did laundry outside, talked through misunderstandings, looked for every bit of beauty around me. The more I worked and learned and listened, the deeper my roots could take hold and the stronger I could stand.
Some places will feel like home more than others or more quickly than others, but no one can appreciate a place for you--no one else can do the hard work of meeting people and dealing with all the logistics of uprooting your life. But you can.
I can't promise you'll feel at home if you do x, y, or z, but I can promise your experience will be much richer if you put in the effort to both give and receive. It will be tiring and messy at times, but it will be worth it.
Love,
Audrey Ann
Growing up in Slovakia from age 9-18, I can remember looking for Christmas presents for my siblings each year and my dad encouraging us younger siblings to get or go in together to get Slovak pottery for our older sisters as they would have less time in Slovakia before leaving for college one day. For a number of years, that was my focus—finding traditional and beautiful Slovak gifts they’d be able to take with them one day, wherever in the world they ended up.
Fast forward to when I moved to the US for college and I realized just how few things from Slovakia I had to bring with me for my home one day. When Andrew and I got married, our budget was incredibly tight and nice things for our home were dependent on gifts from friends and things we found from our local thrift store. One day, we said—one day we’d put some money aside to support a pottery shop in Slovakia that I grew up visiting, and we’d get a few pieces of that part of my home and life to bring into our joint home with our family here in the US. One day.
Years passed and a friend from Austria passed on some of her Slovak pieces to me and I split those between myself and my younger sister. My pieces were immediately split into decorative ones and daily use ones, and every time I saw one of my kids carefully using a Modra pottery piece or asking about my memories in Slovakia while we’d sit together enjoying the pottery pieces, it warmed my heart.
And then we were moving states and buying our first house and with knowing a trip back to Slovakia isn’t going to be able to happen again for a few years, I asked Andrew what would he think if maybe, possibly, we pulled some of the money we’d set aside for the practical parts of setting up the house and got a few things from that pottery shop as a housewarming gift to our family to christen our new house? My heart’s country brought to our new home in his home state.
And today, weeks after ordering, everything arrived in perfect condition. The kids can’t wait to use their new tea cups, and I’ve been beaming all day, so thrilled to unpack a bit of my heart and tuck it into our new Tennessee home.
A big thanks to Slovenská ľudová majolika MODRA for working with me to figure out the logistics of getting pottery shipped to the US as safely and inexpensively as possible, and to each of the talented artists who created, painted, and fired the pottery. These are pieces we’ll cherish—for the beauty of the pieces, for the function they serve, for the country they represent, for the talent they showcase, for the home they help build.
Read more from Melanie and her family's adventures at thosegogganses.com
