This last year I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time watching Gilmore Girls. It was my first time watching the series all the way through, and just a nice breather and reminder of a simpler time. What I loved most was the witty and whimsical writing (honestly not going for alliteration there). To me, the whole point of Gilmore Girls isn’t just the girls, it's the town. As much as we enjoy the banter, shenanigans, and junk-eating movie marathons, it's Stars Hollow we love, right? There is something about that sense of being known, feeling safe, and snickering at the quirky people in your town whom you really do love.
Six things Gilmore Girls reminded me about community:
1. Sometimes people are weirdos, but what would life be without them? Perhaps it would be more tranquil, but it would also more boring. I mean, you can't watch Gilmore Girls without laughing at the quirks of Kirk. I feel like there should be a montage entitled "The Quirks of Kirk." Yes, I'd definitely watch that.
2. Having fun and making memories is your choice (whether it’s a movie night, a town meeting, or yet another festival or parade)—life is meant to be celebrated and enjoyed. Embracing and creating happiness and even the cheesiness of certain events and holidays will leave our lives more meaningful. COVID has stopped many festivals normally happening in our area, but we have found a few fun events and try to have movie nights at home (with a bit of junk food, I might add).
3. You can love your community and still role your eyes. Think of Luke’s character. I mean, I’m all about positivity, serendipities, and sunsets but honestly, nothing is better than a cute guy who is a little grouchy and yet loyal. He didn’t do a lot of fussy things, but he was always there and helping the community; he was consistently there for his friends. And he was always serving up coffee—which leads me to my next point...
4. Coffee and donuts (but mostly coffee) bring people together. Never underestimate the power of delicious drinks and maybe a treat to disarm hostilities and encourage conversation--something we need so much right now.
And for me, coffee is an elixer of life. As Lorelai said, “I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing, and the walking, and the words-putting-into-sentences doing.”
5. Relationships can wring us out, and yet it’s important to avoid quickly writing off people as being toxic. In a world where pop psychology would tell us in sweeping broad strokes to dismiss people who bother us, it is possible to have boundaries but still love others and be there for them. I'm not speaking of true abuse situations here--more about people who annoy us or just feel like more work to be around.
6. Make your couch the best place to collapse. Life is especially challenging these days, and I'm trying to cultivate a home culture that is relaxing and fun. There is lots of teaching and training that goes on around here, but at the end of every day, the fact that we can collapse on our couch and enjoy a bit more time together is pretty great.
What I've noticed on social media the last few years, is that everyone seems to have so many things to say. So many tips, hacks, recipes. So many “Hey, guys! Let me tell you what you should care about.” For success, for happiness. There are glossy, beautiful photos showing the "expert" on her expensive couch with a view overlooking the ocean. Clearly she has it all; clearly we should listen up.
There is a lot to learn online, but it's not community in its truest form, it's just not. It's a fabulous place to gather and exchange ideas, but it's not the place for your soul to rest.
I’d much rather meet you for a cup of coffee at Luke’s and talk about life and beliefs. Since, for multiple reasons, we can’t actually do that, let’s look at the people next door, the people right in front of us. Let’s not forget the sweet little things of community living (even during this time) that make life rich. It can take years to get to that comfortable spot, but it doesn’t have to take years for at least some level of connection and care.
Perhaps it means going to the same coffee shop, to the same church, to the same park. I absolutely love exploring, but routinely visiting certain places helps us to bump into the same folks. Commit to your community, and just maybe it will start to feel a little more like the Stars Hollow we know and love.
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