Q: Hello, dear friend! Give us a few lines about who you are, what your perfect day looks like, and the major moves you've made.
A: Håfa adai! My name is Tabitha Espina, and I teach Rhetoric and Composition at Eastern Oregon University. A perfect day for me begins by waking up whenever my body tells me to. I then would spend my day having nowhere to be and no one expecting me, so that I can read, cook, and dream all day. I moved from my home of Guam to the mainland a little over four years ago, first to Pullman, Washington and now in La Grande, Oregon. Q: Is the word “home” complicated for you--what does it mean to you?
A: Home, for me, is uncomplicated. Guam is and will always be home. The ways I have come to understand Guam as home, however, are what I find complex, given my family's immigration history and how it affects conceptions of belonging. Q: What are some practical ways you keep traditions alive and help you stay connected to your roots?
A: It's probably unsurprising that I believe in the power of language for cultural preservation and discovery. I keep and share traditions by reading about them, talking about them, and writing about them. Sharing lessons and memories in community helps me stay rooted, and I am grateful when these roots expand. Q: What is an important character trait or skill for living in new place?
A: Grace--for others and especially for myself. Q: What would you say to those who feel out of place in a new area—what encouragement would you give them?
A: I've found it's possible to find community in even the most unlikely of places. Sometimes what's kept me from reaching out to others is fear, of discomfort and even rejection. Seeing a place and its people as our Father sees them, however, helps me recognize opportunities for connection. Q: Could you tell us a little bit about your doctoral studies and how it connects to the topic of making a home in the faraway?
A: My work looks at Filipinos' decolonial rhetorics in Guam politics, specifically as they relate to identity, community, and self-determination for Guam's indigenous people. What I found is that making a home is complicated. There is both joy and pain, which can bear out across generations. What I am interested in, most of all, is how we relate to others with respect and reciprocity, or inafa'maolek, in the place we all call home.
Q: As someone who grew up on Guam, which is a very transient place (particularly with military folks), what kind of advice would you give for those who desire to make authentic friendships with the local people of their new area, but know they'll only be there for a short time?
A: I think our friendship certainly attests to the value of investment. When C.S. Lewis tells us "to love is to be vulnerable," I think it's less an observation than an admonition. Love requires a commitment to the friendship, in the time we have been graciously given. Q: Any funny stories about misunderstandings or cultural faux pas you can tell us?
A: I learned just this year that it is a common practice in the Pacific Northwest to purchase whole cows from local farms and butchers, instead of purchasing beef from the grocery store. I would hear many people say that they "bought a cow" and assumed they were buying it as a pet and placing it in their backyards. When they talked about "splitting with neighbors," I assumed the cow would spend its time roaming between them. I figured everyone just wanted to be a part-time farmer or rancher.
Q: Hahaha! This is great. So, you've travelled a LOT! What is the current tally? Of the places you've visited, what is the one place you'd hop on a plane to visit today (sans Covid considerations) and why?
A: Haha! I think I'm at 34 at the moment, but the number doesn't look likely to change soon! I really enjoyed Greece. I would love to be able to see more of it and explore more of its history! Q: Do you have a favorite quote on the topic of home or the topic of living in a different culture?
A: Gloria Anzaldúa in Borderlands/La Frontera says, "I am a turtle, wherever I go I carry 'home' on my back." I think the quote speaks to the responsibility and the inevitability of home, which I find challenging and comforting.
- Aug 5, 2020
One of the oddest parts of moving a lot is keeping friendships from past locations, and I think it’s actually more challenging with the rise of social media. While we can view what our friends post about their lives and see what their kids look like these days, we also see that snarky political post we don’t agree with or want to roll our eyes as they “humble brag” on their angelic and Einstein-smart child.
This year I’m taking a sabbatical from most social media platforms, and I’ve found I enjoy people more when I don’t always see what they post. My guess is they feel the same way about me! While I’m thankful for these tools to communicate, there is something intrinsically false about it. We’re missing something. It’s never the full picture of anyone’s life—these photos with their captions and emojis.
This isn’t a rant against social media, just a gentle reminder that true friendships need more to sustain them. Next year I plan to set out once again on the choppy sea that is social media, but I want to be more purposeful with it as a tool, rather than a substance that dictates my emotions and skews my relationships. I found a few helpful articles about reasons to be careful with social media–how it’s built to be addictive and is changing friendships
A few Ideas for Long-distance Friendships
1. Communicate with technology beyond social media—text, video calls, etc. I prefer apps like Marco Polo where you can watch and send videos to one another when it’s a convenient time. It feels more intentional, personal, and always has an added dose of reality, such as messes or wild child noises in the background, facial expressions, etc.
2. Snail mail! Three cheers for a happy little something showing up in your mailbox. My long-distance besties are better at this than I am, but try postcards, small gifts, or a haphazard “I’m thinking of you. Miss you. Okay, bye” card—there’s just something about touching and opening a physical item that truly connects you with your friend.
3. Try to get together at least every few years (more often is great, when possible). Plan ahead, budget, and make it happen! Being in the presence of those who know you well is a true gift. And those of us who move a lot (or have friends who move a lot)–we know it, don’t we?
Life is ever-changing, and it feels hollow at times without your favorite people nearby. There’s no getting around the fact that it’s difficult, but a little intentionality can go a long way. I’m over here raising my proverbial glass–care to join me? How do you stay in touch with your people? I’d love to know. Here’s to friendship from afar!
- Jun 15, 2020
“Flowers are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty
outvalues all the utilities in the world.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What compares to a bundle of joyful petals and stems? Hint: pretty much nothing. From everyday moments and celebratory occasions to honoring the deceased, there is hardly a situation not made more pleasant or comforting by seeing and smelling flowers. Historically there were both symbolic and pragmatic reasons for having pretty blossoms at events like weddings and funerals. Some reasons are quite hilarious (think lack of hygiene), and I’m glad the tradition remains.
In the current temperature of our culture, writing about flowers may seem trite, but I believe noticing and appreciating God’s creation is an important part of our lives. It is this purposeful noticing that leads us into an attitude of thankfulness and then joy. Ann Voskamp writes, “God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy” (One Thousand Gifts).
Motherhood is challenging (which is a super nice way of saying it’s like getting caught in a riptide–but then, when you come up sputtering for a breath of air, you witness the most beautiful sunset). There are so many emotions and questions. I often wonder if I’m doing it right, but one thing I’m proud of is teaching my daughter to smell flowers every time she comes across them.
Watching her jam her nose into a plant, sniffing, looking–what a comfort to my heart. It’s symbolic of how I hope she views life. Taking in the beauty around her, neither too busy nor detached to lean in and show affection–this is how I hope she will be as a person, woman, and (I pray) a follower of King Jesus.
I believe in the power of fresh flowers, particularly ones that are locally grown. Of course the grocery store variety are a gift as well. Toss that $4.97 bouquet into your cart and then into a mason jar when you get home–brighten your house and your mood! But it’s been a special thing to know our local flower lady (Beth with The Flower Peddler). We met at the local Farmer’s Market, and my favorite Saturdays involved treks home with my plunder of fresh produce, donuts, and flowers from Beth.
Buying local flowers is a way to beautify your home with unique nature elements and support a local small business. Knowing even tidbits about the fauna and flora of your area helps foster an appreciation. Indigenous flowers grow more easily, and you’re adding to the beauty of your community. I’m terrible at remembering their names, but I want to be better–Asters, Sweet Peas, Zenias, Phlox, and the ever mystifying Southern Magnolia are a few local favorites of my area.
Soon I hope to plant some flowers with my daughter. May we notice, nurture, and enjoy.
At the risk of over quoting Emerson (but good grief, the man writes of flowers so well) he wrote, “Many eyes go through the meadow, but few see the flowers in it.” I want to always see the flowers, even when fear, busyness, or the mundane bits of the day seem to fill my life, may I always see the flowers in it.
