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Scribbles & Kathleen Kelly: On Change and Positivity

Writer's picture: Audrey Ann MasurAudrey Ann Masur

Updated: Sep 3, 2021




About once a week my children get ahold of my planner and scribble all over the open pages. At first I roll my eyes and then I think, “Seems about right.” So many of us are facing tough decisions and seeing our plans, both short-term and long-term, come into question.

I’ve been thinking of that quote in You’ve Got Mail, when Kathleen Kelly says, “People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all...has happened.”

Maybe it’s illness, feeling separated from loved ones, or trying to meet the needs of a neurodivergent child. It might be a medical procedure, job loss, or the temporary putting off of a dream. During this time in the world, we all have something in our lives we didn't expect.

Newness and a change of plans can be jarring. I like things to feel safe, but I'm trying to look for beauty even when I feel rattled and worn to the bones. Focusing on the positives isn't for a false sense of security, but rather a true sense of empowerment and an honoring of the life I am actually living.


Wendell Berry said, “We live the given life, and not the planned.” It knocked the wind out of me, the first time I read that quote. Don’t get me wrong, grief must be allowed a place--there is goodness there, too. But at some point, owning the life you were given allows you to see all the possibilities rather than all the hardships and what you don’t have that you thought you’d have.

I’m not a Friends fanatic, but most of us have seen the “PIVOT!” scene, have we not? I feel that scene deeply! Throughout the last year and a half personally, professionally, and as a family, it has been one pivot after another. Feeling dizzy over here. How about you?

There seem to be two camps when it comes to processing all the hard things in the world. One focuses on your sad feelings and honoring them. The other is full of platitudes and quips with confetti emojis to pump you up. Both have their place, but mostly I’m trying to genuinely lean into the life I was given and just be present for it. Joy gets tangled up in grief, and I don't always have to unknot them.

Vulnerability with a chosen few can help. Finding a tangible way to give to those hurting can help (both you and the receiver). Creating something with your hands can help—get out of your head a bit and enjoy whatever it is you like to make.

Sometimes the situations we face will simply reek in the worst way. There’s no sugar-coating, but there is a way to still enjoy our lives and all the sweetness they hold. May the challenges make us strong and skilled for our tasks, gentle to those around us, knowing we were never meant to do this on our own, anyway.

I plan on watching You’ve Got Mail soon. It has such a happy ending, and I could go for that right about now. It’s not escapism, it’s inspiration, haha! All the very best, friends.


P.S. If you have a moving story to share, I'm looking for some more interviewees. Fill in the box found on the homepage or message me on Instagram.

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I’m Audrey Ann—a writer who treasures the gift of travel, and I’m a mama who endeavors to love where I live one playdate, grocery trip, and sunset at a time. An island girl with heartland roots, I currently live in the Cotswolds of the United Kingdom. 

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